Just curious

[girlyswot]

I've lost count of the number of stories I've read in which Hermione or Ginny or some other HP female is giving birth surrounded by positively hordes of Weasleys and assorted other characters.  Hermione, in particular, always seems to expect both Ron and Harry to be present, even if neither is the father (yes, I read EWE stories!).  And if they're not actually in the room, the entire extended family and friends are all anxiously waiting outside.

Now, I have never given birth, nor been present at a birth, but from what I understand, in the UK it's normal to have one person (usually the father of the baby) or possibly two (a mother, sister, close friend) present at the birth.  But I wouldn't expect anyone else to be hanging round in the hospital.

So, my question is, are these fics written by teenagers who have no clue what really goes on, or is it actually the usual custom in the US for anyone and everyone to turn up for a birth?

Comments

[girlspell.livejournal.com]

In the US, usually the father is there. It certainly was my experience. They told my husband when he came in the delivery room to stay out of the way of the doctor/nurses just in case. In my case, I gave birth on the way to the delivery room. My mom wanted to sit by me, and she would have been allowed. Usually its the dad or the women's mom. They do draw the line at kids under 12. Once in a while children are allowed (if they behave really).

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

That sounds much more normal!

[tdu000.livejournal.com]

Why would you want your in-laws or brothers present. Why would any of them, except possibly Molly, want to be there. It's really pretty gruesome and definitely undignified (maybe not for Fleur!). I think in the muggle UK (but I'm not sure) the mother has to have nominated people to be present or they can't be there.

I know quite a few men who find watching their wife give birth quite traumatic and I can definitely see Harry in being like that. I'm sure he'd be there for Ginny . . . but Hermione?

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine why you'd want anyone to be there who didn't have to be. A friend of mine had a baby yesterday. Last week they were asking if anyone had a camcorder they could borrow to video the birth. EWW!!!! Who would EVER want to watch that film? Except possibly the mother when she's contemplating a second and needs to remember how hideous it was...

I think Harry would find it traumatic too, though I think Ron would take it in his stride. Only for Hermione though. I can't see him as anyone else's midwife of choice!

[nundu-art.livejournal.com]

I think it's only 'normal' for those folks who are on 'The Baby Story' (a TV show in the US). My birthing coach (back in the dark ages) strongly suggested that we ask for no visitors until baby and I had been home for a few days. Our parents, etc., honored that.

My daughters (neither of whom are any where near providing grandchildren yet :( ) have both told me they have no intention of having an 'audience' in the delivery room. They don't intend to expose themselves to anyone but the essential medical personnel and their husbands. Seems quite reasonable to me!

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

Quite right! Anyone who wasn't at the conception doesn't need to be at the birth.

[rdprice29.livejournal.com]

Maybe if you have a large, extremely close family (and being an only child, I have no experience with this), it is normal for the entire family to be in the waiting room at some point waiting for news. I think this was more prevalent awhile ago, though, not so much any more.

I had 2 c-sections, and for both of those, only my husband was with me. However, I could have also had my mom/coach/best friend/whatever there as well if I'd wanted to. For the baby I had first (that I lost; long story, be happy to share it with you if you're really interested), my husband and both my parents were in/around my roon until I finally delivered. Husband/boyfriend/baby daddy is the most normal watcher/participant I would think, with maybe one other present if they really want to be/the mother wants them to be.

That whole everyone being at the birth I think comes from way back when at the turn of the 19th century and before, when most babies were born at home, and out of necessity, everyone was there, with the women, mostly, helping with the birth. I'm pretty sure this was the case with my grandfather and all his sisters, as this was during the depression and they were nowhere near a doctor/hospital/formal midwife even if my great-grandmother wanted to be elsewhere. It was at home or out in the fields, presumably.

[rdprice29.livejournal.com]

Husband/boyfriend/baby daddy I meant to include life partner there too. Forgot, sorry!

[crumplehornedki.livejournal.com]

Well it can be quite normal here to have extended family and children at a birth. Personally I had my mum at my first daughter's birth as well as my husband, plus a doctor and a midwife, at my second daughter and my son's birth just my husband and a mid-wife.

But I know of people who have had home birth's with people popping in and out all the time and the children were playing around them.

When I did my hospital visit when I was pregnant with my oldest there was a woman giving birth and there were people just spilling out of the delivery room - it's not for me but some people are happy with that (oh and you can here the pregnant woman's moans and groans and screams in the hallways!).

There was a maternity show here a few year's back and one woman had the neighbours and friends and her family in the delivery suite.

[tdu000.livejournal.com]

I can see that in some cultures it would be the norm but not for Hermione!

[ladywhizbee.livejournal.com]

There is no way that Harry would be caught dead in Hermione's delivery room. Unless some freakish thing was happening--like an emergency with no healer, or they're on their way to St. Mungo's or something like that. He is a hero--but I can't see him willingly being in anyone's room except Ginny's.

And as far as what's common, I think it far more common for the baby's father and the mom-to-be's mother (or maybe, sister) to be present, but no one else. It's a very private event, really. In my case the only other non-medical person that was with me was my husband.

And as far as a family-packed waiting room, I think it's a thing of the past. A relic of when father's were not allowed in the birthing room and the grandparents were there to sit with him and watch him pace. People live in such disparate places now, that the thought of extended family waiting anxiously in a waiting room (sometimes for hours!) seems antiquated to me. Of course, each experience is different--but I still think the more common experience is for family to receive that joyous cell phone call announcing the birth and then descending on the hospital with gifts and flowers in tow.

[dogstar101.livejournal.com]

There is no way that Harry would be caught dead in Hermione's delivery room.

akskdlfjkdkskli ...

I agree!