Chapter 22

[girlyswot]

Author's note: last chapter - sorry if I haven't tied up all loose ends - think of it as food for your imagination!  Thanks to everyone who's read, and particularly those who've taken the trouble to review, this.  All your encouragement has been much appreciated.

The Merricks arrived, almost late, apologetically squeezing past prompter families to reach their reserved seats.  Tickets were strictly limited so only Nicola and Patrick, Jon and Bel had been able to come.  But, marvellously, thought Nicola, Giles was there and Admiral and Mrs Marlow, of course.

 

Nick looked terribly young in his smart dress uniform, standing proudly in the line of cadets waiting to pass out as the Navy’s newest lieutenants.  After the officials had passed him by, he scanned the crowd, giving the merest ghost of a wink at his little sister and a reassuring nod to his mother.

 

‘Are you bursting with pride?’ enquired Giles, over an egg sandwich and a tepid cup of tea.

‘Yes, I think so,’ nodded Nicola.  ‘It is odd, though.’

‘Odd?’

‘I’ve always thought of the children as Merricks.  But looking at him this afternoon, he was so clearly all Marlow.’

Giles looked amused.  ‘Have you any other budding sailors, Nick?’

She chewed her lip.  ‘Not sure.  Not Jon.  Maybe Ant.  He wants to be an engineer, so maybe.  Peter’s desperate of course, but I think that’s just elder-brother-worship.’

He raised an eyebrow.  ‘Which you never suffered from, of course.’

‘Of course!’  She grinned back.  ‘Oh Giles, it is sad you didn’t have sons.’

‘Yes, well.’  This was a grief so old by now that he barely registered pain.  ‘Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you and Patrick about that.’

She looked questioningly at him.

‘Well, it’s Trennels.  I mean, it’ll be mine one day, but since Peter…’  He swallowed and continued.  ‘Anyway, Dad and I need to decide who should come next and I wondered about your Jon.’

‘Well!’ said Nicola, clearly taken aback.

‘The thing is, it should belong to someone who loves it and wants it.  And, if you agree, we could tell him now, and if he wanted, he could take over as manager whenever he’s ready.’

‘Gosh.  Have you said anything to him?’  Nicola glanced across at her second son.

‘No, of course not.  Look, have a chat with Patrick, and if you think it’s a good idea, I’ll talk to him.  Look, I must push.  Ring me, okay?’

‘Yes, sure.’ 

He gave her a quick, brotherly kiss and went to see to his duties.

 

Nicola looked round for her family.  Bel, she observed wryly, was at the centre of a group of awkwardly shy lieutenants, happily showing just how her grandfather had looked when he had given Nick his stripes.  The boys were trying not to laugh and casting anxious glances around for senior officers who might not approve.  Nicola was about to step in when Nick made some remark, effectively stemming the flood and covering Bel in blushes.  Since he followed this with a friendly tug of her hair, it seemed certain she’d go home happy.

 

‘We need to head off in a minute.’  Patrick had Jon in tow.

‘Yes, fine.  I’ll just say goodbye to Nick.  You take Bel.’  She walked across to her beaming son.

‘Congratulations, darling.  We’re just going.’

‘I’ll write.  Promise.’

She smiled.  ‘Please.  Just to let me know every single detail of your day.’

He bent to kiss her.  ‘Don’t worry about me, Mum.’

‘I’ll try.  Look after yourself, Nick.’

‘I will.  Send my love to the others.’  He blushed.  ‘And Gem.’

‘Yes, alright.  Goodbye, then, dear.’

‘Goodbye, Mum.’  He sketched a wave beyond her to the remnant of his family and watched them leave.

 

‘Pat?’ Nicola came into the office.  ‘Oh, is that the letter from the Ministry?’

‘Mmm.  Not good.  They’re reducing the subsidies.  Again.’  He put the letter down and swivelled in his chair to grin at his wife.  ‘Still.  We’ll manage, I daresay.  What did you want?’

She perched on the edge of his desk.  ‘I’ve just had the oddest phone call.  From the Major.’

Patrick looked suitably amazed.  ‘What on earth did he want?’

She shrugged.  ‘Beats me.  He couldn’t have been cagier.  Anyway he’s coming round after supper to talk.’

Patrick frowned.  ‘It can’t be the Hunt.  Not at this time of year.  I can’t think what else he could possibly want me for.’

‘Oh!’  Nicola began to laugh.  ‘He didn’t want you at all.  He’s coming to see me, Pat.’

‘Oh, well, just goes to show.’  He began to laugh too and reached for Nicola’s hand, drawing her onto his lap.

‘Dad!  Can you show me how…  Oh!’  Richard made a disgusted face at his giggling parents and went out again, leaving them even more helpless with laughter.

Eventually, Nicola recovered herself.

‘Right, I’d better get a move on with supper.  The Major’ll be here at eight.’

 

When the doorbell went, promptly at 8pm, it was Bel who answered it.

‘Good evening.  Annabel, isn’t it?’

‘Yes.  Have you come to see Dad?’

‘Actually I’m here to talk to your mother.  She should be expecting me.’

‘Oh.  Okay.  I think she’s upstairs.  Hang on.’  She went to shout up the stairs but saw her mother frantically straightening her hair and smoothing her skirt as she ran down.

‘Thanks, darling.  Go and finish that homework now, okay?’  Bel made a face but disappeared up to the den obediently enough.

‘Good evening, Major.  I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.  It’s always a bit chaotic on school nights.  Come through to the drawing room.  Oh Patrick.’  She smiled gratefully as he appeared out of his office.  ‘Could you possibly see to drinks for us?  What will you have, Major?’

‘Very kind.  Whisky and soda, if you don’t mind, dear boy.’

Patrick smiled blandly to cover his inward seethe at being addressed as a dear boy.  ‘Of course.  What d’you want, Nick?’

‘Oh, um, anything.’

‘Fine.’  He squeezed her elbow reassuringly and went to collect glasses and ice.

 

Patrick entered the drawing room bearing drinks, full of curiosity.  Nicola was looking utterly shell shocked and the Major was speaking as if addressing a public meeting.

‘Here we are.  Gin and tonic alright, Nick?’

She nodded and took the drink gratefully, gulping down a large mouthful almost immediately.  Patrick was intrigued, for she wasn’t much of a drinker.  He decided to take the bold approach.

‘So, is anyone going to tell me what this is about?’  He looked from the Major to his wife and back again, deciding that Nicola was in no state to tell him anything coherently.  He sat down beside her and looked across at the Major expectantly.

‘Young Carter’s decided to step down.  Bound to be an election next year.  Need a new candidate.  Your Nicola should think about it.’

Patrick hoped he didn’t look as flabbergasted as he felt.

‘You mean, become an MP?  Nick?’

The Major blustered a bit, taking a hefty swig of his drink.  ‘Candidate.  Central Office want to send us some London hot shot.  Need a local candidate.  Know the area.  Know the country.  Get along with people.’

‘Yes, I see.’  Patrick felt for Nicola’s hand and gave it a squeeze.  ‘But why Nicola?’

‘Clever girl.  Always thought so.  Brave, too.  Still remember that day you jumped the Cut on that pony of yours.  And the upstarts in the city like a pretty, young face.’

‘Hardly young,’ put in Nicola.

‘Nonsense.  You can’t be much more than forty.’

‘Forty-four,’ she disagreed.

‘There you are then.  You did very well in that business over the school.  Know how to make a speech and more important, how to win people over.’

He looked at Patrick and Nicola and decided he’d said enough for the moment.  ‘Well, I’ll be off.  You think it over.  Committee meets on the 3^rd of May.  You let me know if you want your name to go forward.’

Patrick stood up.  ‘I’ll see you out, sir.’

Nicola recalled herself.  ‘Yes.  Thank you.  Goodnight, Major.’

‘Goodnight, my dear.’  He went through the door that Patrick was holding open.  ‘You’ll talk her into it, won’t you, lad?  Party needs more like her.’

‘She’ll do what she wants, sir.’  Patrick spoke firmly.  ‘Goodnight.’

 

He collected the gin and returned to the drawing-room.  ‘Top up?’

She nodded.  He handed her the glass and came to sit beside her.

‘I take it you hadn’t considered a career in politics?’ he enquired, gently teasing.

‘No!  Patrick, was I rude?  I just couldn’t quite believe what he was saying.’

‘No, it’s fine.  I think he realised it came as a bit of a shock.’

‘I’ll phone him tomorrow.  Tell him I couldn’t possibly do it.’

Patrick looked at her consideringly.  ‘Why not?’

Her jaw dropped again.  ‘Well, because…’  She waved her hands around in a manner which reminded Patrick suddenly of Lawrie.  ‘The children.  You.  This place.  I don’t know anything about politics.’

‘Of course you do.  Pa always said you had as good a grasp of the fundamental issues as anyone he knew.  And the children are growing up.  We could manage, Nick, if you wanted to do it.’

She stared at him.  ‘You think I should?’

His eyes twinkled.  ‘Well, I think you should think about it, at least.’

‘Well!’  She sank back into the sofa, resting her head comfortably on his shoulder.

 

Half an hour later, the door was pushed open tentatively.

‘Can we come in?’

Patrick smiled.  ‘Of course.  Are you all there?’  Bel, Richard, Finn and Peter were all in their pyjamas, shepherded by an anxious looking Ant. 

‘Is everything alright?  Did the Major have some bad news?’ he asked tentatively.

Nicola stretched out her hand to him.  ‘No, nothing like that.  Just something to think about.  Come and sit down.’  Bel squeezed herself between her parents and the others arranged themselves in front of the fire.

The twins began to tell about the play they were rehearsing at school.  Bel kept everyone in giggles as she imitated Richard doing his love-scene, until Patrick, noticing that Richard was starting to look decidedly unamused, gave her a stern look.

‘Come on, you.  Let’s make hot choc.  Everyone in?’

Peter was carefully trying not to draw attention to himself, knowing full well his bedtime was twenty minutes gone.

‘Yes, okay.  But Peter can have his upstairs,’ said Nicola firmly.  ‘Goodnight, darling.’  He grimaced as she kissed him.

 

Bel handed round the mugs and curled up comfortably on the sofa.

‘I know,’ she grinned.  ‘Let’s do a game.’

Everyone groaned but looked expectantly at her.

‘Ambitions.  You can have two goes.  One wild dream and one real ambition.  Finn, you go first.’

He made a face at her but acquiesced.  Holding his mug with both hands he looked down at the floor and thought before he spoke.  ‘Well, my real ambition is…’ he mumbled so they could hardly hear.

‘What did you say, Finn?  A director?’  He nodded.  ‘What sort?’

Encouraged that no-one had laughed out loud, he continued.  ‘Films, I think.  When I’ve been on set with Mum, I’ve watched them.  They have a million things to juggle and think about just to achieve the perfect shot that’s already there in their mind.  I think that’d be brilliant.  Working out how to get your actors to do what you want, and the lights and the sound and the props and everything.’

‘That sounds amazing, Finn.’  Nicola was gently encouraging.  ‘I hope you achieve it.’

Bel was bored, ‘But what about your other ambition?  The wildest dream?’

‘Oh that!’  He laughed.  ‘Easy.  Win an Oscar and marry the most beautiful woman in the world.’  He stuck his tongue out at her.

‘Yes, alright.’  Nick frowned, though her eyes were smiling.  ‘Ant, what about you?’

‘I’d like to invent something.  Something useful and important.  Something that everyone uses and wonders how they ever managed without.’

‘What?’ asked Richard, without thinking.

‘Idiot!  If I knew then I wouldn’t need to invent it, would I?’

‘Is that a wild dream or an achievable ambition?’ Bel sounded confused.

‘Both, I hope.’  He smiled and Nicola suddenly felt a great wave of pride in her clever, quiet boy.

‘Oh.  What about you, Ma?’

‘Gosh, I don’t know.  I don’t know if I’ve got any ambition any more.  Not for me, anyway.  I s’pose if I have a wild dream it would be to go round the world again.  Just me and your father and a little boat like Windfall, stopping wherever we felt like it, taking as long as we wanted.’

‘Oh.  What about us?’  Bel looked crestfallen.

‘Well, I did say it was a wild dream.  So you could come and visit us at different places on our way.’

‘Mmm.  Me next.  If I could have anything, I’d be wildly famous.  Like Aunt Lawrie, only more brilliant and more beautiful and everyone,’ she stared pointedly at Finn, ‘would fall in love with me.’

‘Yes, well, in the real world now Bel?’  Nicola sounded as if she didn’t think much of this.

‘Oh, I don’t know.  I think I’d like to play Juliet on stage, professionally, at least once.’

‘Hmm.  We’ll see.  You now, Richard.  And then bed.’

‘I want to go to Oxford.’

‘What would you study?’

He shrugged.  ‘Dunno.  History maybe.’

‘And your wildest dream?’

He shrugged again.  ‘Dunno.’  A slow grin spread across his face.  ‘I’d like to see Bel jump the Cut.’

She went bright red, hating her fear and hating that he knew it.  ‘You…  You..’

‘Yes, well, that’s enough of that.  That’s the point of wild dreams, Bel, they don’t come true.  Now say goodnight.’

 

Eventually Patrick found Nicola coming out of the linen cupboard.  ‘That’s enough for tonight.  Come here.’  He pulled her close to his chest and kissed her.  ‘Come to bed.’

They lay comfortably familiar in each other’s embrace.  Nicola began telling Patrick about the children’s hopes and dreams.  He laughed and looked pleased.

‘I wonder what Peter wants to do.’

He bent to kiss her shoulder.  ‘Follow his big brother into the Navy.’

She sighed.  ‘Still?’

‘Fraid so.’  He turned to lie on his back, gazing up at the ceiling.  ‘Nick, do you ever feel like you’ve wasted your life?’

She turned towards him, resting her chin on his chest.  ‘No.  Never.  Why, do you?’

He shook his head.  ‘No.  But I sometimes wonder if I made you waste yours.’

‘Why, Patrick?’

He blinked furiously.  ‘D’you remember when I came to that Speech Day of yours?  When you and Lawrie won that cup?  They all thought you were going to have some brilliant career.  You had everything, Nick.  Brains and beauty.  You ran that school, practically.  You could have done anything and then idiot me came along and fell in love with you and that was that.’

She leant forward to kiss him and stroke his greying hair away from his forehead.  ‘I fell in love with you too.  And I have never, not for a single second, regretted marrying you.’

‘Well, good.’  He kissed her long and tenderly.

‘Besides, I never felt like that.  When I left school, I mean.  I never wanted to do anything much.  I got to go round the world.  I could’ve been a Wren but it wouldn’t have been that exciting.  Honestly, Pat, I couldn’t be happier with the way life’s turned out.’

‘Good,’ he said again.  ‘But still, think about what the Major said.  I think he’s right.  I think you’d be a really good MP, Nick.  And I’ll do whatever you need to help.’

‘Okay.  I’ll think about it.  Now go to sleep.’