Correspondence with the Dark Lord
Mar. 2nd, 2007 09:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
girlyswotFollowing the spate of recent sightings of Lord Voldemort in people's personal profiles at the Sugar Quill a campaign has begun to 'kill him with kindness'. Since love is the only force strong enough to defeat the Dark Lord, we feel that expressing our love for Lord Voldemort is the way forward. Inspired by this campaign, I began a correspondence through the PM system, which I would now like to share with my readers.
For your eyes only, sent Feb 27
Dear Sir,
I feel that the time has come when my feelings can no longer be suppressed. Like Mr Darcy (who let's face it is one of the great romantic heroes of all time) I must tell you that I love you against my reason, against my character, and against my birth. Your charm and wit first attracted me but I think you cannot be unaware that it is many months since I have been able to look at you without feeling the most ardent passions of love. Your strange, twisted face has drawn me into its lair. Your power and ruthlessness no longer repulse me as once they did. I would be honoured to be your servant but I must tell you that I have long hoped to be something infinitely more dear.
Can you do me the kindness of releasing me from the misery and allow me to have hope that one day, perhaps, I might be permitted to call you not 'Lord Voldemort' but instead, 'my Lord Voldemort'?
Your very humble and affectionate servant
Girlyswot
Reply received Feb 28th
My response, Feb 28th
Oh, I'm sorry - I thought you would have understood that it was a metaphor - since after all, you're just a metaphor too.
His reply, Mar 1st
As I am sure even a foolish Muggle like yourself would not deny my existence, I will interpret this as that I am now so well-known that my name is used as metaphor for mighty, awe-inspiring, fear-inducing and great. Naturally, I am quite pleased about that.
Regards,
Lord Voldemort
He's definitely softening. Did you notice that in the second letter, he bothered to sign it and sent his 'regards'? Perhaps others would like to join this campaign too. After all, if he's writing notes to us, he's not out there killing Harry.
Dear Sir,
I feel that the time has come when my feelings can no longer be suppressed. Like Mr Darcy (who let's face it is one of the great romantic heroes of all time) I must tell you that I love you against my reason, against my character, and against my birth. Your charm and wit first attracted me but I think you cannot be unaware that it is many months since I have been able to look at you without feeling the most ardent passions of love. Your strange, twisted face has drawn me into its lair. Your power and ruthlessness no longer repulse me as once they did. I would be honoured to be your servant but I must tell you that I have long hoped to be something infinitely more dear.
Can you do me the kindness of releasing me from the misery and allow me to have hope that one day, perhaps, I might be permitted to call you not 'Lord Voldemort' but instead, 'my Lord Voldemort'?
Your very humble and affectionate servant
Girlyswot
Reply received Feb 28th
LIAR! "For your eyes only", and yet you posted it on a public thread as well. Do not try to deceive Lord Voldemort again, for his retribution will be terrible.
My response, Feb 28th
Oh, I'm sorry - I thought you would have understood that it was a metaphor - since after all, you're just a metaphor too.
His reply, Mar 1st
As I am sure even a foolish Muggle like yourself would not deny my existence, I will interpret this as that I am now so well-known that my name is used as metaphor for mighty, awe-inspiring, fear-inducing and great. Naturally, I am quite pleased about that.
Regards,
Lord Voldemort
He's definitely softening. Did you notice that in the second letter, he bothered to sign it and sent his 'regards'? Perhaps others would like to join this campaign too. After all, if he's writing notes to us, he's not out there killing Harry.