girlyswot: (Silent majority)
girlyswot ([personal profile] girlyswot) wrote2008-12-15 09:35 pm

Does anyone have any of that brain bleach around?

I just discovered [livejournal.com profile] pottersues. Here are some of the most 'precious' excerpts from the first page of entries:
  • A/N: "I always viewed Snape as the soft gentle man he played in Sense and Sensibility, so I wanted to write a romance with Snape being gentle, instead of wild and controlling like all the other stories.
    Um, I'm fairly sure Severus Snape wasn't listed in the credits of S&S

    "
  • She swallowed and stared at him, her eyes suddenly larger and childlike.

    “I saw another halfblood.” She answered, her voice beautiful even as it cracked.

    “Half-blood?” Draco inquired. “The wizard kind? How is that bad? What’s wrong with being a halfblood?”

    “Well,” Alice said, flipping her golden hair. “It’s a different kind.
    Why isn't my voice beautiful when it cracks? And how do you make your eyes more childlike?

  • I should probably tell you more about myself, I'm in my 5th year, and my house is Ravenclaw, the sorting hat had difficulty placing me, because I have characteristics of 3 houses:Slytherin because I usually get what I want, and have pureblood pride ,Ravenclaw, because I'm really intelligent, and have a thirst for Knowledge, and Gryffindor, Because I'm brave, I do not have an Inch of Hufflepuff in me at all (thank GOD for that), but in the end, the sorting hat decided to place me in Ravenclaw.

    I should tell you that I am the BEST MARY SUE OF ALL MARY SUES

  • HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF THAT! I’M PREGNANT WITH YOUR OWN CHILD AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS KILLING IT! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! YOUR JUST, RUDE! ALL I WANTED WAS A NORMAL SCHOOL LIFE! BUT NOOOOOOO! I HAVE TO GET PRGNANT IN MY 6TH YEAR, BECAUSE OF YOU! I HOPE, YOUR, HAPPY!


  • Oh dear. Suggesting an abortion is, I suppose, rude, but it's unlikely to make Cedric's unspecified possession happy.


Also, in one of my favourite entries, a French character called Jasmyne (BFF with Gabrielle Delacour and also, handily, Harry's long lost twin) is referred to several times as 'Asmyne'. I had no idea why until one of the commenters pointed out: She thinks that French people drop the first letter of a name, like Fleur did with 'Arry and 'Agrid. She doesn't get that we just pronounce it with a silent H. According to her logic, it'd be 'Umbledore, 'Raco, 'Edric, 'Ictor, 'Ita 'Keeter, 'Obby, etc.

She must wonder why Fleur never calls her husband Ill. Or his brothers: Harlie, Ercy, Red, Eorge, and On, not to mention his sister, Inny.

Oh dear, must remember to breathe in between the uncontrollable giggles.
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[identity profile] girlyswot.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, we were all grateful for that. Except for poor Red who died. Not to mention Emus and Onks.

[identity profile] ankaret.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 10:56 pm (UTC)(link)
*is helpless with laughter at Emus and Onks*

Inny Easley, on the other hand, changed her name by deed poll at the age of eighteen to avoid all the suggestive remarks.
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[identity profile] girlyswot.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I am laughing too hard to type a response to that.

[identity profile] bookish327.livejournal.com 2008-12-17 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Girlyswot,
You have the most amazing ability to send us into fits of giggles. You and ankaret are apparently on the same wavelength, and I, for one, appreciate being able to listen in on such fun banter. :-)
owl: Stylized barn owl (Default)

[personal profile] owl 2008-12-16 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
LOLOLOL!

[identity profile] pashazade.livejournal.com 2008-12-16 10:22 am (UTC)(link)
No no no! Inappropriate mirth in workplace has now taken place.