Does anyone have any of that brain bleach around?

[girlyswot]

I just discovered pottersues. Here are some of the most 'precious' excerpts from the first page of entries:

• A/N: "I always viewed Snape as the soft gentle man he played in Sense and Sensibility, so I wanted to write a romance with Snape being gentle, instead of wild and controlling like all the other stories.
  Um, I'm fairly sure Severus Snape wasn't listed in the credits of S&S
  
  "
• She swallowed and stared at him, her eyes suddenly larger and childlike.
  
  “I saw another halfblood.” She answered, her voice beautiful even as it cracked.
  
  “Half-blood?” Draco inquired. “The wizard kind? How is that bad? What’s wrong with being a halfblood?”
  
  “Well,” Alice said, flipping her golden hair. “It’s a different kind.
  Why isn't my voice beautiful when it cracks? And how do you make your eyes more childlike?
  
  ”
• I should probably tell you more about myself, I'm in my 5th year, and my house is Ravenclaw, the sorting hat had difficulty placing me, because I have characteristics of 3 houses:Slytherin because I usually get what I want, and have pureblood pride ,Ravenclaw, because I'm really intelligent, and have a thirst for Knowledge, and Gryffindor, Because I'm brave, I do not have an Inch of Hufflepuff in me at all (thank GOD for that), but in the end, the sorting hat decided to place me in Ravenclaw.
  
  I should tell you that I am the BEST MARY SUE OF ALL MARY SUES
  
  
• HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF THAT! I’M PREGNANT WITH YOUR OWN CHILD AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS KILLING IT! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! YOUR JUST, RUDE! ALL I WANTED WAS A NORMAL SCHOOL LIFE! BUT NOOOOOOO! I HAVE TO GET PRGNANT IN MY 6TH YEAR, BECAUSE OF YOU! I HOPE, YOUR, HAPPY!


Oh dear. Suggesting an abortion is, I suppose, rude, but it's unlikely to make Cedric's unspecified possession happy.

Also, in one of my favourite entries, a French character called Jasmyne (BFF with Gabrielle Delacour and also, handily, Harry's long lost twin) is referred to several times as 'Asmyne'. I had no idea why until one of the commenters pointed out: She thinks that French people drop the first letter of a name, like Fleur did with 'Arry and 'Agrid. She doesn't get that we just pronounce it with a silent H. According to her logic, it'd be 'Umbledore, 'Raco, 'Edric, 'Ictor, 'Ita 'Keeter, 'Obby, etc.

She must wonder why Fleur never calls her husband Ill. Or his brothers: Harlie, Ercy, Red, Eorge, and On, not to mention his sister, Inny.

Oh dear, must remember to breathe in between the uncontrollable giggles.

Comments

[amamama.livejournal.com]

O.o You found some of that bleach? I want it too. Goodness. *giggles*

[kinderjedi.livejournal.com]

Oh, my eyes.

[tdu000.livejournal.com]

I wonder what on earth the writers thought they were reading when they read the Arry Otter books. I don't think I could read this site. I know it's funny but it would still annoy me too much. I'm still scarred from Hermione deciding to leave Hogwarts and the magical world begind to pursue her life-long ambition of becoming a fashion-designer.

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

Arry Otter! I want someone to write that.

[amamama.livejournal.com]

Is that the name of Hermione's patronus?

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

MARIANNE DASHWOOD: You are so soft and gentle! I cannot bear it! My soul beats its wings against the tyranny of behaving as other people expect! Let us read no more poetry together! I am going to rush out into a thunderstorm and get pneumonia and then you'll be sorry!

SEVERUS SNAPE: *mutters* I can put a stopper in death but I can't put a stopper in you.

MARIANNE DASHWOOD: *stops in her tracks* Sir, I have no idea whether you just propositioned me or offered to put an end to my days on this earth, but I like it! Now I see that despite your mild demeanour you are just like the heroes of novels!

CATHERINE MORLAND: *appears in doorway with eyes of steely resolve and laundry list in hand* In that case, lady, wait your turn.

SEVERUS SNAPE: ... oh, bugger.

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

Comment fic twice in one day!!!

And of course Catherine Morland wants him. Hee.

I was contemplating asking you to write 'Missing First Letters' fic of Arry Otter and the Oblet of Ire, but I decided you'd done enough for one day.

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

Back, remora. :)

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

I don't really know what a remora is, actually. Except, obviously, a clinging thing. Is it like a limpet?

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

I think it's a sort of fish that hitches a ride with other fish and occasionally boats. :)

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

Okay, I googled it and was somewhat surprised to discover that it's a real thing. I was expecting some SF creature from a world I've never heard of.

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

Also, I rather fancy the Alf Lood Rince, in which a dyslexic Raco asks Arry Otter for help with his washing machine.

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

LOL!

Also, I'm wondering what it is that Eathly allows.

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

The series to end?

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

Well, we were all grateful for that. Except for poor Red who died. Not to mention Emus and Onks.

[ankaret.livejournal.com]

*is helpless with laughter at Emus and Onks*

Inny Easley, on the other hand, changed her name by deed poll at the age of eighteen to avoid all the suggestive remarks.

[girlyswot.livejournal.com]

I am laughing too hard to type a response to that.

[bookish327.livejournal.com]

Girlyswot,
You have the most amazing ability to send us into fits of giggles. You and ankaret are apparently on the same wavelength, and I, for one, appreciate being able to listen in on such fun banter. :-)

[owl]

LOLOLOL!

[pashazade.livejournal.com]

No no no! Inappropriate mirth in workplace has now taken place.

[tdu000.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[petitecrivan.livejournal.com]

Oh my, thank you so much for introducing me to this wonderful crax in the middle of finals week. It's exactly what I needed.

*goes to find some brain bleach now*